VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis issued a statement Thursday deeming the sexual assault allegations against Quebec Cardinal Marc Ouellet as ‘insufficient grounds’ to launch a formal investigation. The…
Tag: Catholic Church
Pope takes over empty apology duties from exhausted Trudeau
OTTAWA – After numerous empty apologies to Indigenous Peoples backed by little to no substantive action or restitution, Pope Francis arrived in Canada this week to officially take over empt…
Catholic church asked to keep in mind the good arson has done
KAMLOOPS – Reeling from a series of suspicious fires across British Columbia, the Catholic Church was reminded of the good that arson has also done. “While it is possible to use fire to sys…
Pope: “Confessing and asking forgiveness aren’t really our thing”
VATICAN CITY – As Canadians and Indigenous Peoples demand accountability and remorse from the Catholic Church for their role in the genocidal Residential Schools institutions that Canada op…
Pope Francis supports gay civil unions in an attempt to bring Catholicism into the ‘90s
VATICAN CITY – Speaking in a new documentary, Pope Francis has revealed his support for legal recognition of same-sex civil unions as part of his revolutionary plan to make the Roman Cathol…
Super Soaker wielding Priest just baptized the shit out of this kid
Goderich, ON — Since the COVID outbreak, the Catholic church has begun social distance baptizing, arming their priests with holy water-guns, shooting from the hip to bring young children into the…
Officials ask Pope to stop ending sermons with community announcements from Vatican bulletin
VATICAN CITY – Officials representing the Holy See have reportedly issued a formal request that Pope Francis cease ending his sermons from the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica with local announcem…
Catholic Church erects monument for fetuses who will never grow up to be a victim of a priest
BELLEVILLE, ON – An anti-abortion monument has been erected by the Knights of Columbus for the fetuses who will never grow up to be a victim of a priest’s abuse. “The Catholic Church contin…
Trans activists make absurd demand to be treated like human beings
Luke and the Panel (Lora Campbell, Chanty Marostica and Lucia Linares Leon) do a deep dive on gender identity issues. They discuss how the trans and non-binary communities are dealing with attack…
In wake of sex abuse report, Catholic priests relieved God not actually real
PHILADELPHIA — Following a Pennsylvania grand jury report which detailed decades of sexual abuses by priests and cover-ups by bishops, the world’s Catholic priests are expressing relief tha…