CALGARY – Local sources state that Martin Walsh is hoping to add some excitement to his relationship by convincing his girlfriend to do it platypus style. “We’ve been in a bit of a rut lately,” W…
Tag: boyfriend
5 manly masculine grooming kits for your disgusting boyfriend
‘Tis the season! It’s that faithful time of year where folks all over the country step up to the plate and give their significant others something utterly useless and mismatched to their personal…
Study: An increasing number of men playing dead to avoid “What are we” conversation
TORONTO – In a survey of the nation’s still single male population, a new study published today states that more men are opting to play dead than participate in a meaningful discussion on t…
Boyfriend not sure about this “top sheet” thing
SACKVILLE, NS – Local boyfriend Robert Bell is voicing concerns about the top-sheet that was recently installed on his double twin bed by girlfriend Nila Joshi. “I already have a sheet!” Be…
Heartbroken woman betrayed by imaginary boyfriend after discovering he’s already married
HALIFAX – Romantic tragedy struck yesterday when 30-year-old Tina McCullough discovered that Brian Huntington, her imaginary boyfriend of two years, was already secretly married to another woman.…
Escape Room provides authentic experience of having girlfriend solve your problems for you
VAUGHAN, ON – Local woman, Caroline Burton, visited Lockpick Escape Rooms this past Thursday to play a new fantasy themed puzzle, “Deep Dungeons of the Darkspawn Guild” with her boyfriend, …
9 out of 10 boyfriends wearing shirts they just found somewhere they can’t remember
MONTREAL — In a study done by Concordia University, it has officially been proven that 9 out of 10 boyfriends’ shirts come from somewhere that no boyfriend can remember. Following years of …
Emotionally unavailable boyfriend cries as sports legend retires
BROCKVILLE, ON – Reports this evening indicate that 27-year-old Dillon Carsaw, who up until now has shown little to no sign of emotional affection towards others, has spent the past two hou…
Pretentious stereotypes in Arcade Fire force audiences to dress up as pretentious stereotypes
MONTREAL – In a move designed to break down the wall between performers and their audience, the hipster clichés in Arcade Fire have announced that their fans will have to dress up as hipste…
Women everywhere scramble to lock down ‘winter boyfriend’
Burnaby, BC – Anthropologists studying human female migration patterns have noticed mass movements of women toward cafes, college campuses, and libraries in pursuit of finding a mate for th…