Entire date ruined by boner
VICTORIA, BC – A potentially pleasant outing between a man and woman on Saturday evening was completely ruined by a boner. Todd Bellard, 28, and his date, 27-year-old Cynthia Elmwood, were …
Montreal may reopen asbestos mine
Quebec supports the reopening of one of Canada’s last asbestos mines despite criticism from international health experts who argue that it is unsafe and immoral to ship asbestos to developi…
Vancouver to hand out crack pipes
Vancouver plans to hand out crack pipes to crack users in hopes of preventing the spread of disease. Calgary, Winnipeg and Toronto have been handing them out for years. What’s your say? “Wo…
Ontario to allow Hollywood bodyguards
A new Ontario regulation will allow Hollywood movie stars to bring their own bodyguards instead of hiring Ontario-accredited bodyguards. Local security firms are worried this will hurt their busi…
Manitoba calls just to see how it’s going
OTTAWA – The province of Manitoba called late last night “just to see how it’s going,” according to a custodian working after-hours in Parliament. At approximately 2:00 am, East Block janit…
Nervous guest speaker at nudist colony picturing everybody with clothes
BOWMANVILLE, ON – Several minutes into his power-point presentation for skin-coloured vinyl in front of a group of naturists, nervous speaker Lloyd Brintnell, of Nature’s Office Supplies Co…
Canadian Tire dollar reaches parity with U.S. dollar
OTTAWA – As the U.S. greenback continues to tumble amidst growing uncertainty over the American debt crisis, the Canadian Tire dollar made incredibly strong gains this week, closing today a…
