Vatican green-lights ABC production of ‘Vatican’s Next Top Pope’
VATICAN CITY – Officials from the Roman Catholic church announced Monday that ABC has ordered twenty-four hour long episodes of Vatican’s Next Top Pope, a reality TV show documenting the se…
Haggis contains no horsemeat, reassures Scotland’s Food Board
EDINBURGH – Responding to public outcry and concern over the recent scandal involving traces of horsemeat found in UK beef products, Scotland’s Food Standards Agency released a statement to…
Garneau goes after Trudeau for saying ‘nothing about space’
OTTAWA- In a news conference earlier this week, Liberal leadership candidate Marc Garneau attacked current frontrunner Trudeau for trying to “land at 24 Sussex without properly configuring his on…
Woman stabs coworker over Downton Abbey spoilers
MISSISSAUGA – In reaction to hearing important plot elements from an unreleased episode of Downton Abbey, 56-year-old administrative assistant Deborah Dean lashed out at her company’s 22-year-old…
Protective dad hides mirrors from ugly son
Bill Donovan is a stay-at-home accountant, a hobbyist, and a vegetarian, but it all comes second to lovingly hiding his only son from an ugly reflection. “It was hard at first, but you get used t…
Oscar Pistorius historically overcomes all physical and moral limitations
JOHANNESBURG – Only months removed from shattering the world’s perception of physically handicapped athletes and their abilities at the London 2012 Olympic Games, Oscar Pistorius, aka The B…
‘Just leave the report by my taser’ says RCMP to Human Rights Watch
OTTAWA – RCMP instructed Human Rights Watch to leave a damning report on abuse allegations of Aboriginal girls and women on the desk of the Duty Officer beside his taser. “Yeah, we’ll look at it …
Even Gary Oldman’s family not quite sure what he really looks like
LOS ANGELES – Tensions have risen in the household of thespian Gary Oldman, after his wife and children realized last week that they could not offer a solid description of the Mr. Oldman’s …
UPDATE: Pope resigns to spend more time with kids
VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI announced his intention to resign from the Papacy on Sunday, and sources close to the Pope are saying he’s excited to spend more time with kids. “He’s got a lot o…
