Loblaw purchases Shoppers Drug Mart, forgets to use Optimum card
TORONTO – Loblaw Cos. proudly announced today the $12.4 billion acquisition of Shoppers Drug Mart Corp. in a move that has merged two of Canada’s biggest retailers but failed to provide any…
Perroquet retiré du Biodôme de Montréal après avoir appris trop d’anglais
Montréal – L’ara rouge du Biodôme de Montréal sera déporté au Zoo de Toronto vendredi prochain après n’avoir parlé qu’en anglais lors d’une inspection du gouvernement du Québec.…
BREAKING: Trayvon Martin found guilty in murder of Trayvon Martin
SANFORD, FL – After deliberating for more than 16 hours, a jury on Saturday evening found George Zimmerman not guilty in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, opting instead to find the una…
Parrot removed from Montreal Biodome after learning too much English
MONTREAL – The Montreal Biodome’s Scarlet macaw will be deported to the Toronto Zoo next Friday after she only spoke English during a government inspection. The parrot – known as “Bou…
Phaneuf advances to next round of relationship despite poor last-minute play
SUMMERFIELD, PE – With his wedding to actress Elisha Cuthbert, Leafs captain Dion Phaneuf has officially advanced to the next round of his relationship despite a poor last-minute performanc…
Margaret Atwood jumps eighteen buses on motorcycle for youth literacy campaign
TORONTO – Two-time Governor General’s Award winner Margaret Atwood tempted fate yesterday with a death-defying stunt jump over more than a dozen regulation sized school buses in order to promote …
Quebec tragedy blemishes Transport Canada’s stellar 3-day train derailment-free record
OTTAWA – Transport Canada officials were disappointed that their 72-hour train wreck-free record has been shattered after a catastrophic derailment in Quebec. “I know this looks bad,” stated Mini…
