Grand Theft Auto V launches
Grand Theft Auto V, the fifth installment in the popular video game series by Rockstar Game, launched today. The game is estimated to have cost $265 million to produce and is expected to bring in…
PROROGATION UPDATE: Harper to spend duration sitting naked in a freezer
OTTAWA – (DAY TWO) In preparation for a month away from the House of Commons, Canada’s Prime Minister has entered the industrial freezer he had installed in the basement of 24 Sussex drive …
Wait, if we get rid of religious headwear, then how will we know who to discriminate against?
BY PAULINE MAROIS Fellow citizens of la Belle Province, let me begin with an appeal to my record as premier. You elected me based on my platform of not being Jean Charest. And haven’t I done exac…
Students find artificial intelligence more useful than actual intelligence
HALIFAX – As students head back to class, they are increasingly aware that the biggest determinant of academic success is the amount of technology that they use. Alphonso Stubler, 22, is an Archi…
Le Québec répond à l’hôpital de l’Ontario avec une pub ciblant les médecins racistes
QUÉBEC – Le gouvernement du Québec a répondu aujourd’hui aux efforts d’un hôpital en Ontario pour attirer des médecins québécois avec une publicité ciblant les médecins intolérants. «L’Onta…
Architects misplace new invisible building
SEOUL – Architects in South Korea have lost their new invisible building – the Tower Infinity – after it was last seen semi-constructed near Incheon airport outside of Seoul. &…
After 1.2 km jog, local man now understands what Terry Fox went through
MONTREAL – After running a short distance across Old Montreal for the annual Terry Fox Run, Jerry Thompson now completely understands what Terry Fox went through. Thompson, a 42 year-old fa…
Chinese children celebrate Labour Day with record productivity
BEIJING – China is celebrating the announcement that its youths set a world record for productivity on Labour Day this year. Thirteen-year-old Lin Shenlun, stood proud in front of three tho…
Harper proclaims prorogation, then lazily commands Governor General to dance
OTTAWA – From atop his gilded throne, ensconced in the the resplendent halls of Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Harper today sought his third prorogation since assuming office, before nonch…
Quebec responds to Ontario doctor ad by advertising to racist doctors
QUEBEC – The Quebec government is responding to an Ontario hospital’s efforts to lure Quebec doctors by an ad that attracts bigoted physicians. “Ontario should not have waded in…
