Skipping vinyl record becomes accidental dubstep hit
MONTREAL – Electromania at Club Soda has produced the latest number one hit single courtesy of a skipping vinyl record. DJ Dangerzone was mixing last week when ‘Vox Humana’ by Kenny Loggins…
Israel and Palestine ready to begin undermining new round of peace talks
WASHINGTON D.C. – Three years after the previous talks collapsed, the governments of Israel and Palestine will begin a new round of direct talks in the hopes of achieving new and likely ins…
Chris Brown quits music industry to escape abusive relationship with media
LOS ANGELES – R&B singer Chris Brown has announced that, following the release of his album “X”, he will retire from the music industry after facing what he described as a “steady, unre…
La Ronde Acquires Scary New Ride: Jacques Cartier Bridge
MONTREAL – If roller coasters like Vertigo, Maniac, and Goliath didn’t make you break out into a cold sweat, La Ronde has a new, scarier ride for you: the Jacques Cartier Bridge. “We’d been…
I would remember more Middle Eastern leaders’ names if they didn’t change so frequently
By Hon. John Baird, Minister of Foreign Affairs Since the beginning of Arab Spring in 2011, people living under the oppression of autocrats and despots in the Middle East have overthrown their le…
Canadians are richer than ever according to new research poll
Canadians are richer than ever, according to Environics research, which calculated that the average household net worth is now over $400,000. What’s your say? “I’m not sure I understand. Can you …
Local father reaches enlightenment while screaming at new computer
HAMILTON, ON – After refusing to read the manual for his new Dell laptop, local senior James Hoffmann achieved a state of nirvana while screaming profanities at the electronic device. “At f…
Study: Half of the bands at Osheaga haven’t even heard of themselves
MONTREAL – Psychologists at McGill University revealed this week that half of the bands coming to this year’s Osheaga Festival are so indie they haven’t even heard of themselves. The festiv…
Ottawa reminds nation that ‘veterans’ are not mentioned in ‘Support our Troops’
OTTAWA – After federal government lawyers argued that the government has no social obligation to veterans, the Minister of Veteran Affairs clarified that the term “veteran” was not contained in t…
