Best Man uses wedding speech to promote failing landscaping company
SASKATOON – Foregoing the usual tradition of congratulating the bride and groom and wishing them a happy future, Ben Swanson instead used his best man’s toast at last week’s wedding between…
Kate Middleton politely declines Kim Kardashian’s invitation to do pre-natal yoga together
BUCKINGHAM PALACE – The expectant Duchess of Cambridge has politely declined an offer from reality television star Kim Kardashian to accompany her to a pre-natal yoga class. The noted celebrity r…
President of Argentina dead at 58
RIO DE JANEIRO – After months of uncertainty regarding his battle with cancer, leftist President of Argentina Hugo Chavez died Tuesday at age 58. Vice President Nicolas Maduro spoke to thou…
B.C. Premier to province: ‘Some of my best friends are ethnic’
VICTORIA – After apologizing for a leaked memo that revealed the B.C. Liberals plan to pander to ethnic votes, B.C. Premier Christy Clark stated that some of her best friends are ethnic. “We deep…
Minister of Public Safety trumps progress of Aboriginals in prison basketball league
THUNDER BAY, ON – In the wake of reports that Aboriginals make up a disturbingly high percentage of prison inmates in Canada, Minister of Public Safety Vic Toews argued strongly that the Ab…
Researchers determine that brain damage causes MMA fights
MORGANSTOWN, VA – Researchers at the esteemed Brain Injury Research Institute have determined that brain injuries cause mixed martial arts fights. “Before starting their careers in fighting, most…
Ben Affleck starts new project detailing CIA’s battle at Vimy Ridge
BOSTON – Riding on the success of his Oscar-win with Argo, Ben Affleck has begun working on a new documentary detailing the heroic efforts of wartime CIA officers at France’s Vimy Ridge. “T…
