Weeks later and nothing has changed for accountant who starred in Fringe show

WINNIPEG, MB – Several weeks after starring in a nine-day run of his one-person show, “Pobody’s Nerfect,” absolutely nothing has changed in the life of local accountant Ryan Ward, whose dre…

Grade eight student really banking on new sneakers to turn things around for him

Hamilton, ON – After a tumultuous grade seven school year, Steven Littlewood 13, of Middleberry Public school has decided a new pair of running shoes will surely change everything. “I…

Nanalan’: Canadian television treasure or collective children’s fever dream

Childhood, a time of innocence and also being a child, when the candy doesn’t hurt your teeth and movies are always just under 90 minutes. If you grew up in the late 1990s, you would remember how…

Local fly is certain THIS window is the way out

LIVING ROOM – A local fly is convinced that after numerous false starts and window collisions, he’s finally figured out how to get back outside. “I’m feeling really good about this window,”…

Top 5 CNE attractions they paid us to write about so you’ll ignore their labour dispute

Let’s go to the Ex! The CNE is back in Toronto until September 3. And what would summer be without the outrageous food and classic rides? Sure there is a massive labour dispute where 400 stagehan…

In wake of sex abuse report, Catholic priests relieved God not actually real

PHILADELPHIA — Following a Pennsylvania grand jury report which detailed decades of sexual abuses by priests and cover-ups by bishops, the world’s Catholic priests are expressing relief tha…

Far-right groups demand removal of Sir John A statues down after learning he was an immigrant

MONTREAL – Far-right wing groups are calling for the immediate removal of any statues, busts, or dedications to Canada’s first Prime Minister after learning that he was born in Scotland. Ma…

Federal government thank wildfires for clearing path for Trans Mountain pipeline

KAMLOOPS, BC – The federal government is celebrating an unexpected windfall as it has discovered that the wildfires ravaging British Columbia have coincidentally cleared the path for the Tr…

Quantum scientists discover that the more hair elastics you buy, the fewer you have access to

GENEVA – If you’ve ever wondered why, no matter how many you buy, you can never find a hair elastic when you need one, the scientists at CERN have finally discovered the problem: the act of…

New fitness trend: Making it out of a forest alive

HUNTSVILLE, ON – In the midst of ‘high intensity’ workout trends, there’s a new fitness program that aims to get people out into nature and hitting their fitness targets. “Survival Paleo”  …