Final polls show 0% of Canadians sure why we needed an election
OTTAWA – As the Liberal and Conservative parties poll in a dead heat to form Canada’s next government, an aggregate of polls show that absolutely not one single voter can explain why this e…
Erin O’Toole’s aides frantically trying to teach him The Renegade
BOWMANVILLE- With polling stations across the country hours from closing and Conservatives desperate for votes, Erin O’Toole’s aides were spotted earlier today frantically trying to appeal to Gen…
Breaking: Serious action on climate change projected to lose election
CANADA ― As the votes are tabulated in the 2021 election, analysts project that ‘reducing Canadian carbon emissions to a reasonable proportion of recommended global rates’ has lost to Liberal Jus…
BC anti vaxxers excited to see what the inside of a school looks like
SALMON ARM, BC – Anti-vaxxers who stormed three schools in BC’s Southern Interior were excited to finally see what a school looks like from the inside. Those who came to bully school admini…
Justin Trudeau puts hat and sunglasses on corpse of electoral reform so no one can tell it’s still dead
AURORA, ONT. – While the Liberals and Conservatives remain neck-and-neck in the polls, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was at pains to convince Canadians that electoral reform is not a moulde…
Horse girl becomes horse dewormer girl
PRINCE ALBERT, SK – 25-year-old mother of two Rebekkah McElroy, once crowned “Lil Miss Horse Princess” in the 2002 Saskatchewan Harvest Fall Festival, has adopted a strict daily regimen of …
Federal party leaders target millennial voters by also not living up to their potential
OTTAWA – With only days left until the federal election, political analysts say party leaders are focused on relating to millennial voters by generally performing a bit worse than everyone …
Video game boss needs you to come in over weekend to finish bonus level
WORLD OF TERRAVAST— Emperor Berros, the great axe-wielding minotaur found at the center of the Labyrinth of Agony, announced today that he “was going to need you to log-in Saturday to complete a …
Province that keeps passing racist laws gets real mad when you call them racist
Quebec City – Quebec, a province which keeps passing racist and discriminatory laws, has been in uproar for a week after debate moderator Shachi Kurl suggested those laws are racist and/or …
Trudeau wistful for past elections when he was just caught wearing blackface
OTTAWA – Sources report that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has sunk into a bout of profound melancholy due to the conflux of COVID, Afghanistan, China, and unpredictable Conservative support, voc…
