Over 4 million Albertans diagnosed with long-haul Kenney - The Beaverton

Over 4 million Albertans diagnosed with long-haul Kenney

CALGARY – Doctors have diagnosed all of Alberta with the long term side-effects of Premier which could last up to 18 months.

Symptoms include crowded hospitals, absent leadership, and an overwhelming sense of dread about the province’s future.

“Syndromes of long-haul Kenney such as a leader vacationing during a crisis  and pointless, non-binding referendums on programs the province doesn’t control may get worse,” said Dr. Carly Smith, professor in the Cumming School of Medicine at the University of Calgary. “Some Albertans may not be able to last until 2023 while others are being relocated to other provinces for better political treatment.”

Researchers and frontline workers are doing their best to uncover how a premier can still be viable with approval ratings hovering around 22%, and many are stumped on why the premier is still lingering around.

“We’re concerned that, with the damage done internally to democratic and social institutions, chronic Kenney is a possibility,” added Dr. Smith.

Treatment options are not available at this time, but scientists are hoping to develop spines for each UCP caucus member.