Erin O’Toole speaks out against the violent anti-vaxxers whose support he is actively courting

OTTAWA – As aggressive right-wing, anti-vax protestors continue to scream obscenities and shout at staff during Trudeau rallies, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole has called their beha…

Local woman says cat helped bake muffins even though cat just sat there and did fuck all

PICKERING, ON – Maci Livingston, a 28-year-old programmer recently made home-made muffins for a small get-together she was having, claiming her cat Pumpkin, 2, helped bake them despite the …

Scotiabank purchases naming rights on all future Canadian variants of coronavirus

TORONTO – In light of news that the World Health Organization would be renaming key variants of COVID-19, Scotiabank has announced plans to bid on the naming rights of all future coronaviru…

Wow! This cat detected his owner’s undiagnosed cancer and isn’t going to do anything about it

Me-Wow! When four-year-old cat Miles noticed his owner’s pallid skin and increasingly sluggish behaviour, he immediately clocked the Stage I carcinoma slowly growing in owner Sophia Reinhart̵…

Federal election downgraded to Twitter poll with Trudeau asking, “Do you like me?”

OTTAWA – Recently, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau asked for a dissolution of parliament. With many condemning him due to its unencessity, Trudeau took to his Twitter, instead, to run a poll …

Trudeau asks Governor General to declare election takesies backsies

OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party surges in the polls, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has asked Governor General Mary Simon to revoke the election writ that dropped two weeks ago, invoking …

O’Toole: There is no ‘I’ in Conservatve Party

OTAWA — Conservative Leader Erin O’ Toole was put on the defensive this week after CPC campaign materials containing numerous spelling errors found their way to the public. Repeatedly denying any…

Hibernation of unpopular conservative premiers signals federal election season

TORONTO – Writs dropping from Parliament has signalled the beginning of the hibernation period for odious, conservative provincial leaders who will nestle in their cabinet offices or homes.…

Ah, shit, wedding invite has lightsabers on it

EDMONTON – People invited to the Katie Carmichael-Chris Everett wedding were horrified to discover that the invitations featured lightsabers and X-Wings. “Jesus Christ, it says ‘Come celebrate a …

Biden just going to let Covid have Florida

JACKSONVILLE, FL – After months of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s ineffective pandemic response, President Biden today announced he is removing his hat in sorrow as he allows Covid-19 to h…