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Ontario case numbers going up even though Ford asked them nicely not to
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is facing blame for the recent rise in COVID-19 case numbers, despite his valiant effort telling the new cases to “tone it down a bit, if you don’t mind.…
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade ends in horror when robe of Baby Yoda balloon falls open, revealing massive genitalia
NEW YORK CITY – Cheers turned to screams today at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade when a robe malfunction resulted in the Baby Yoda balloon exposing his no-longer-private parts to thousands …
Canadian media promise to start reporting on RCMP raiding Wet’suwet’en territory once a few more American celebrities tweet about it
OTTAWA – Members of Canada’s national and local press are assuring Canadians that they will start to cover the RCMP’s violent and quite possibly illegal raid on sovereign Wet…
Retailers guarantee to have worse version of what you want in stock for holidays
EDMONTON – Retailers across Canada want to assure Canadian consumers that despite global supply chain issues and shortages, they guarantee to have the worst version of what you want in stoc…
Liberals change date and add “for realsies this time” to throne speech
OTTAWA – In the midst of another turbulent year for Canada, Justin Trudeau has put forward a bold legislative vision in his latest throne speech by adding “and this time we’re totes going to do i…
I bet you fucking idiots think I’m about to drop this puck
By: Dalton Henderson, NHL Linesman That’s right you fucking rubes, get in the faceoff circle and put your sticks in, because you think I’m about to drop this puck. Well spoiler alert …
Weatherman predicting thunderstorm condemned for encouraging rain
VANCOUVER – In the wake of David Suzuki being condemned for inciting violence after warning that, if politicians don’t do more to combat climate change there could be attacks on oil &…
Top 10 medical exemptions granted to unvaccinated Conservative MPs
Canada’s Parliament resumed yesterday, and Erin O’Toole has announced that multiple Conservative MPs received medical exemptions to the requirement that everyone be vaccinated to ente…
Woman afraid to ask if other people’s feet are also this sweaty
SASKATCHEWAN – Local woman, Maria D’Souza, has spent most of her life being afraid to ask other people if their feet are as sweaty as hers. “What first made me think something was wrong was…
