Danielle Smith apologises for not condensing her many apologies into a single efficient apology
EDMONTON – Premier Danielle Smith has held a press conference apologising for the inefficiency of her recent apologies. “I apologised for parroting pro-Putin talking points about Ukraine, and I k…
Crazed pescatarian won’t stop until she tastes the flesh of every known sea creature
SARNIA — Local pescatarian Chelsea Duke has vowed to taste the flesh of every known sea creature, and authorities warn that she should be considered armed and dangerous. “Ms. Duke is believed to …
Canada reaches ‘Doug Ford is now the voice of reason’ levels of political stupidity
OTTAWA – With Doug Ford endorsing the use of the Emergencies Act to end the “Freedom Convoy” protests, Canada has officially become so absurd that Doug Ford is the one providing…
Vancouver actor moves to L.A. to improve odds of getting cast in shows that shoot in Vancouver
VANCOUVER – Local actor Marcus Barrow has made the decision to leave Vancouver and move to L.A. in order to better enhance his career opportunities and secure roles on the numerous film and…
Ocean bird choking on plastic straw still agrees paper straws are the worst
VANCOUVER – In a rare interview, a sea bird floating off the pacific coast of British Columbia has confirmed that, although it is currently struggling to breathe around plastic straw wedged…
Reports circulate about Toronto having some kind of mayoral election
TORONTO – Unsubstantiated reports have begun to circulate throughout the metro area that some kind of municipal election may be taking place, quite possibly right under residents’ noses. “I…
This episode of Family Feud Canada features cast of two more CBC shows you won’t watch
TORONTO – Hold on to your hats Canada, this latest season of Family Feud Canada you won’t watch is kicking off with a special all-star episode featuring the cast of two more CBC shows you w…
Danielle Smith graciously admits that genocide might be as bad as antivaxxers not getting to go to the movies
EDMONTON – Danielle Smith made international headlines during her first day as premier of Alberta by claiming that the unvaccinated are the most discriminated-against group she’d ever seen,…
Out of respect to victims’ families, Ryan Murphy to donate portion of Dahmer profits to anyone who ever watched Glee
LOS ANGELES – In response to criticism of insensitivity toward victims, Dahmer showrunner Ryan Murphy has vowed to donate a portion of his series profits to anyone who ever watched Glee. “I see n…
