CALGARY – A Calgary woman is fairly certain that the Canadian census she just took online was interested in far more than gathering her vital statistics. “It started out normally, you know,…
Relationship
Local mother and father play a rousing round of Who is the Tiredest?
MONCTON – After growing weary of their regular routine of parenting of three young children, Tony Garcia and Emma Weston managed to bring excitement and joie-de-vivre back into their lives …
Local husband gives wife traditional present ‘something she randomly mentioned the day before’
SWIFT CURRENT, SK – Brian Warriner, husband to Glenda Warriner for fourteen years, continued his yearly tradition of remembering his wife’s birthday, listening to her as she mentioned somet…
Local women dreams of Valentine’s proposal after insufficiently hinting at holiday season proposal
Dartmouth NS – Local woman, Claudia Draper, is dreaming of a Valentine’s Day proposal by boyfriend, Trevor Chase, after she failed to sufficiently deliver hints for a holiday season proposa…
Rescue dog unable to save failing relationship
Hamilton, ON – Jane Rogers and Eric Salts recently discovered that adopting a six-year-old rescue dog was not enough to put off the ending of their four-year relationship. The couple, who a…
“You’re not like other girls,” says man exactly like all other men
LONDON, ON — A local man indistinguishable from any other man wants the woman he just met to know that she’s “not like other girls.” Adam Adamson, 29, discovered the “girl” in question last…
Canada happy for friend who just got out of terrible relationship
OTTAWA – Canada is pleased as punch that its closest friend and neighbour is no longer in a long-term relationship with a real piece of shit. “It’s hard, when you see a powerful nation, one…
Straight couple seeks fun-loving girl for night of bickering and mediocre sex
NEWMARKET, ON – A local straight couple is seeking a “fun-loving girl” to join them for a night of relentless disagreements capped off with uninspired boinking. Kristy Walker, 24, and her boyfrie…
Man who refuses to go down on women hasn’t showered in 8 days
CALGARY – Local shower avoider Heath Gerry is adamant in his refusal to put his face near a woman’s genitalia despite being an eye watering risk to public health himself. “I just thin…
Study: “Dream cheating” revealed as number one cause of divorce among psychics
TORONTO – A new study conducted by the University of Toronto has found that the phenomenon known as “dream cheating” narrowly beat out heart line incompatibility and the unexpected presence of “T…