OTTAWA – Demonstrating his support for vaccine choice, leading Conservative Party candidate Pierre Poilievre marched with a group of fired reservists who are afraid of needles. Poilievre pr…
Politics
Centrist gazelle pauses to consider cheetah’s point of view
BOTSWANA – Marvin Shuttleworth, a three-year-old gazelle who proudly describes himself as a centrist, paused while being pursued by a cheetah in order to consider the predator’s point of vi…
“I don’t know anything about the other candidates” is both worst and best reason to vote for Ford
Halton Hills, ON ― Political analysts have determined that your grandfather’s rationale for voting Conservative in June of “I haven’t heard anything about this Del Duca guy” is complete bullshit,…
Steven Del Duca takes 10 awkward seconds to recall name of current Ontario Liberal Leader
Chatham,ONT – At a campaign rally today, Steven Del Duca paused during his stump speech and appeared to take 10-12 seconds to remember the name of the current Ontario Liberal Party leader. …
As bitcoin crashes, Poilievre vows to find new volatile fad to tie Canadian economy to
OTTAWA – In the wake of this week’s trillion dollar crypto-market meltdown, Conservative leadership candidate Pierre Poilievre has vowed to find an even riskier and more fraud-prone investm…
Conservative Party of Canada vows not to change ambiguous stance on abortion
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada has announced that, despite the growing pro-life movement in the United States government, Canadians can rest easy knowing that they won’t know the…
With midterms approaching, many fear democrats are running out of time to completely alienate the left
Washington – With only six months until the 2022 midterm election, many within the Democratic National Committee are worried that the young, energetic, left wing voter base behind candidate…
Opinion: I don’t think you should have rights, but that’s no reason to be mean to me
Jasper, TX – Back in my day, we could talk politics in an objective and fair way. As far as I know, there hasn’t been any kind of civil unrest or movement in the last 50 years in this count…
School Board mandates bullies begin performing “Lunch Money Acknowledgements”
WINNIPEG – A Manitoba school board has adopted a policy requiring bullies to acknowledge the previous “stewards and caretakers” of the lunch money they steal from peers before spending it. …
Human embodiment of all the worst people in your poli sci seminar running for conservative leader
OTTAWA – Observers at universities across the country have reported that current conservative leadership front-runner Pierre Poilievre has managed the impressive feat of embodying a compreh…