OTTAWA — In a small office located within the bowels of Stephen Harper’s PMO sits a young man responsible for halting all Syrian refugee applications. When he’s not busy wiretapping Justin …
National
Jason Kenney spontaneously combusts after court permits niqab for citizenship ceremony
CALGARY — In what authorities are calling a rare instance of spontaneous human combustion, Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney burst into flames upon hearing the Federal Court of Appeal …
Canada looks forward to finding out how it was screwed by the TPP
OTTAWA — With Canada now signed on to the Trans Pacific Partnership, Canadians are excited to find out just how much they have been screwed. “I can’t wait to see who got it the most!” said …
Unemployed Canadians so happy to see politicians addressing the niqab again
MONTREAL — The nation’s unemployed are pleased to hear that the main topic of political conversation will be about whether a very small minority of women have a religious right to cover the…
Federal election campaign enters third geological age
OTTAWA – Two renowned Canadian geologists published a high-profile paper this morning finding that, with three weeks to Election Day, the 2015 federal campaign has officially outlasted two major …
As pope visits US, Canada welcomes lesser-known pope understudy
OTTAWA — While Pope Francis set off on his American tour in Washington, DC, this week, Canadians quietly welcomed a papal tour of their own from the Holy Father’s understudy, Underpope Stev…
CBC moves in with Dave following cuts
TORONTO – Reeling under cuts, CBC has begun to sell off its real estate holdings and moved into a two bedroom basement apartment with 26 year old recent graduate Dave Mullins. “CBC is proud…
Harper the latest inferior product to be endorsed by Gretzky
TORONTO – Canadian hockey icon Wayne Gretzky endorsed Prime Minister Stephen Harper for re-election at a Conservative Party rally this week, making the Tory leader the latest in a long line of me…
The Globe and Mail showcases diversity with five white male columnists who have different opinions
TORONTO — Demonstrating the publication’s commitment to diversity, five of the Globe and Mail’s white, middle-aged, male columnists have taken different stances on who won the debate among …
Stephen Harper: ‘Running a deficit is not a good idea, unless I do it’
CALGARY — On Thursday, during The Globe and Mail’s Leader’s Debate on the Economy, Prime Minister Stephen Harper advised green-horn candidate Justin Trudeau that running a deficit is a bad …
