TORONTO – After an exhausting work week, local resident Sarah Smythe is shocked and dismayed to find herself trapped at her friend’s escape room party. “There’s no way out now, my hands are…
Lifestyle
High gas prices putting damper on man’s plan to drive across Canada committing arson
VANCOUVER — As the travel season approaches, record-breaking gas prices are already putting the brakes on many Canadians’ summer plans. Including one Nathan McGee, 28, who may have to skip his an…
Escape room owners trapped by own business decisions
VANCOUVER – Business owners Diane Blatford and Tom Slodder are reportedly feeling trapped by their decision to open an escape room. The duo opened No Way Out in March 2020, shortly before strict …
Local legend Can’t Count Johnson dies at the age of 375
MONCTON – Can’t Count Johnson has passed on at the ripe old self-reported age of 375. Possibly the oldest man ever to live, Johnson got the nickname ‘Can’t Count’ due to his inability to d…
Bar finally set low enough for mediocre man to become hero
TORONTO, ON ― After years of plummeting faith in the male population has set expectations to a new low, local man Todd Ernst’s average existence has now been deemed “heroic” by his local neighbou…
“Now let’s do a silly one,” says man dictating his will
REGINA – After dictating his will to his lawyer, sources report that Edward Irwin asked if they could also do a “fun one.” “For this one, let’s start by leaving half my money to my cat, Jean Catt…
Study: Casually mentioning terrifying health scare two months later is parents’ favourite form of entertainment
TORONTO — A landmark study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto has revealed that your parents’ most cherished activity is telling you about horrifying health scares months after…
Which dating app should you go crawling back to during Omicron?
Remember how last year, you were so sure you were done with the toxicity of online dating and said you would put an honest to God effort into meeting someone in person this year instead of just t…
45-year old man wondering when he’ll feel like the grown-up in the room
WINNIPEG – 45-year old Jason Kingsley sits in his home wondering when he’ll feel like the grown-up in the room. Kingsley admits that he can vote, buy beer, and rent a car but that’s only b…
Close friend Instagram story wasted on a sunset
TORONTO – Sally Hutton was disappointed today when her crush Diego Michaels posted a picture of a sunset to his close friends Instagram story, a feature where Instagram users can share upda…