High gas prices putting damper on man’s plan to drive across Canada committing arson - The Beaverton

High gas prices putting damper on man’s plan to drive across Canada committing arson

VANCOUVER — As the travel season approaches, record-breaking are already putting the brakes on many Canadians’ summer plans. Including one Nathan McGee, 28, who may have to skip his annual tradition of across the country, carving a burning wake of destruction.

“It’s never been this bad before,” said a crest-fallen McGee. “I’ve worked out the costs and just getting to Banff will run me almost $200, and that’s not even including the fuel that it’ll take to set a medium-sized park ablaze.”

A perfect storm of geopolitical tensions, supply chain issues and post-COVID demand has caused the price at the pump to surge forcing many pyro-Canadians to cut back on trips to businesses they want to purify through cleansing flame. 

McGee has explored options to mitigate the cost involved in reducing a Saskatoon laundromat to smouldering embers including making fewer stops, carpooling and switching to alternative accelerants like hay or turpentine.

“I actually had plans to do a rideshare with a couple from the Interior”, he begins. “But things fell through when it became clear their was sex-motivated, and I’m not kink-shaming or anything, I didn’t want to spend the whole trip being a 3rd wheel.”

Even longer-term, McGee says he plans to swap his gas-powered car for an EV.  “I was really impressed by the Tesla’s ability to suddenly erupt into flames for no reason. But having to plan a route with a lot of down-time at superchargers isn’t feasible when you’re fleeing Winnipeg at 3AM, sirens blaring in the night.

Even if stranded on the west coast, the young fire-starter still intends to make the most of the gorgeous arid weather. “It’ll be fun to see flammable hidden gems exist in my own backyard and maybe I’ll drive up to Squamish for a few days  and check out the local forest fire scene.”