TORONTO – Onlookers yesterday afternoon were treated to a remarkable display of the very best humanity has to offer, as local driver Jonas Grumby tapped lightly on his brakes while making a right…
Tag: driving
Driver causing 15 minute traffic delay by parking in middle of road put flashers on so it’s totally fine
TORONTO – Drivers stuck behind a car that inexplicably stopped in the middle of the road on a street with only 1 lane in each direction were about to be very mad until they saw that the off…
Middle Finger named “Official Bird” of Ontario highways
BARRIE – In the wake of a population boom, the Province of Ontario is proud to announce that the middle finger has been tapped as the “Official Bird” of their roadways. “For years, you cou…
Study: Drivers debating between Express and Collectors choose slower one 100% of the time
TORONTO – A new study by the University of Toronto has concluded that people driving on the 401 near Toronto choosing between the Express and Collectors lanes choose the slower option every…
Student driver fails “Yelling at innocent cyclist” portion of road test
TORONTO, ON – Seventeen-year-old Alexandra Green failed her road test yesterday after neglecting to scream and curse at a law-abiding cyclist. The biker, who was safely riding on the right side …
High gas prices putting damper on man’s plan to drive across Canada committing arson
VANCOUVER — As the travel season approaches, record-breaking gas prices are already putting the brakes on many Canadians’ summer plans. Including one Nathan McGee, 28, who may have to skip his an…
BMW, Tesla remain deadlocked in battle for rich asshole market
L.A. – Consumer reports indicate that BMW and Tesla are still the top vehicle choices for wealthy pieces of shit. “BMW has historically dominated the trust fund douchebag demographic,” said…