Written by: Joel Overbeck Look. I’m a simple guy. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. All I need is a roof over my head, a generic live-in female to cater to my every whim, and an $800 super-c…
Vaccine Hunters Canada pivots to searching for PS5s
NATIONWIDE – Canadian heroes Vaccine Hunters Canada have changed their twitter mission, this time in search of PlayStation 5s. “Vaccine Hunters Canada was born out of an urgent need to provide Ca…
Woman told to go fuck herself would, in fact, rather be fucking herself
VICTORIA, BC – A woman recently told to go fuck herself has revealed that she would, in fact, rather be fucking herself. Kat Gagnon, 34, was just going about her regular day as a customer service…
Local cat gets his best ideas at 3am
ST. JOHN’S, NF — Local cat Barney Gabriel Boudreault has shared that he gets his best ideas at three o’clock in the morning. “They say an artist can’t afford to wait around for inspiration,…
Due to supply chain issues, local woman runs out of fucks to give
WINNIPEG – Due to ongoing supply chain issues across the country, a local woman has completely run out of fucks to give. Alexis Jenkins, 29, has historically given excessive fucks, otherwise know…
QUIZ: Is he really into you, or does he just need your love to break his family’s curse?
There comes a time in every relationship when we must ask ourselves: is he really into me, or is he just using me… to free his family from the curse bestowed upon them by a witch long ago? …
Fox’s highest rated new series The Anti-Mask Singer
LOS ANGELES – Fox’s viewership has reached astronomical new heights with its smash new television hit, The Anti-Mask Singer. “This show really speaks to our core audience,” says Fox spokesperson …
Trudeau nervous about losing job, suddenly extends CRB
OTTAWA – In response to recent forecasts that he may not have a job for much longer, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced a sudden extension to CRB. “The Canada Recovery Benefit was introd…
Ryerson agrees to change name, drop the “University”
TORONTO – In response to recently renewed discussions surrounding the problematic history of its name, Ryerson has agreed to make the necessary change – by no longer calling itself a univer…
5 ways lesbian dating has not changed during the pandemic
Over the past year and a half, COVID-19 has upended our lives in ways previously unfathomable to even the wildest, gayest imaginations. Pride celebrations have moved online, and if Drag Race Seas…