CAMBRIDGE, UK – Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking, considered by many to be the most intelligent man in the world, has died in this iteration of the universe, but sources from multiple other universes have confirmed that he is currently alive and watching The Simpsons in countless other versions of our reality. He was/is 76.
The death in this universe of the inspiration for the film The Theory of Everything has confirmed suspicions among many amateur physicists that ours is indeed the worst current version of reality. Other realities that are less consumed by bitter political divisiveness and which don’t have a third 50 Shades movie have been allowed to keep their versions of Hawking.
As the author of A Brief History of Time, a book owned by millions and read by thousands, his influence on this universe was immense. Hawking co-discovered the four laws of black hole mechanics, which in this universe was used to inform one of Christopher Nolan’s lesser movies. He also proposed the foremost model for the universe’s initial state along with fellow physicist James Hartle, a theory which in numerous better realities is not considered heresy by anyone.
Having defied the odds by surviving for decades beyond his doctors’ prognosis upon being diagnosed with ALS, the disease that paralyzed our most brilliant cosmologist later became the inspiration for people in this universe to dump buckets of ice-water on their heads.
Condolences have poured in from various versions of Stephen Hawking in other universes in which Donald Trump has long since been impeached, selfie sticks do not exist, and everyone can tell the difference between real and fake news.
