TORONTO – University of Toronto introductory calc professor Sean Segal is “so awesome,” his students report, that he took the time to learn the name of every student he demolished on the latest midterm.
“Segal is so great,” said current student of Segal and first-year life science major Kassra Modi. “He’s hilarious, knows his stuff, and it’s just like, when I enter his office, I’m not treated like a number, but like a real person who was completely annihilated on the brutal integration test we just had.”
Despite there being over seven hundred students in Segal’s lecture session who were decimated and left to fester in a ditch by the savage, next-to-impossible assessment, the young, hip professor has been able to commit to memory everyone’s full name and then use it every time he picks on them to answer an unanswerable question in class.
Segal, who has been teaching at the university for fifteen years, is also well-liked by his students for putting timely pop culture references on his tests.
“There were tons of Game-of-Thrones-themed questions, which I thought was really cool,” said Modi’s classmate Sebastian Lee. “And also kind of fitting, since we were massacred and ripped to tiny, dripping pieces by the bloodbath that was that calculus midterm.”
By press time, the super-personable faculty dean learned the name, student number and one interesting fact about every student who dropped Segal’s class.
