THUNDER BAY, ON – A proposed hyperscale data centre just outside Thunder Bay is promising the construction will be 100% sustainable elements like rooftop solar panels to power the centre. The immense heat will be water-cooled using a specially designed closed loop system filled with the entirety of Lake Superior.
Despite opposition from local residents, environmentalist groups, and Indigenous leaders, the CEO of Amicable AI Data Centres says his facility will be Canada’s most sustainable.
“The loop is engineered to circulate the water we drain from Lake Superior in perpetuity,” CEO Edward Charles Dalton III wrote in a statement. “In that sense, we are operating according to a commitment to sustainable practices. Therefore we will sustain this until we’ve extracted as much wealth as we can.”
“And we’ll have a few solar panels on the roof,” the statement continued. “But mostly the power will come from a purpose built coal plant. We are working with both the federal and provincial governments to have them cover the costs as an investment. We are a small, independent family business and will work with other, independent family businesses to build the loop and coal plants like my father and brother, who own and operate their own respective construction companies and coal plants, just as a random example.”
The loop will be built to stretch out across Lake Superior and into the state of Michigan, where the regional office will be located. Dalton says this is not for tax purposes. Amicable AI is currently negotiating with Ontario and Michigan for the rights to purchase and develop the newly dried lakebed for the development of condominiums, shopping centres, sports venues, and, as a personal favour to Ontario Premier Doug Ford, a casino. The Ontario Premier also announced the online casino PlayOJO has secured the naming rights for the now to be named PlayOJO Amicable AI Closed Loop Water Based Cooling System.
A customer for the data centre has not been announced but some reports are linking Amicable AI with a data research working on a project for the Department of Homeland Security called “Project [REDACTED], previously Project Untermensch.”
“Amicable AI is committed to being a jobs creator for Thunder Bay, which is why I’m donating $500,000 to Lakehead University for the creation of a Masters in Prompt Engineering. The student who graduates from this program will work for us as a prompt administrator at a competitive entry level salary and the potential for benefits. Jobs, you rubes!”
The CEO did acknowledge the concern over the loss of one of the Great Lakes.
“It’s a loss, to be sure. But don’t we have like five more lakes? Whoever said it was superior, anyway? And if we’re going to lose one, I would choose the one that killed the Edmund Fitzgerald. I’m just saying look into it, especially with our proprietary chatbot.”
At deadline #DrainLakeSuperior was already trending on TikTok.
