Pierre Poilievre has repeatedly stated that the Nazis were socialists because their name is a shorthand for National Socialists. This is despite the fact that the Nazis rather infamously imprisoned and murdered thousands of people for the crime of being Socialists. So since Poilievre has apparently developed a Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy level commitment to taking all language completely literally, we thought we’d ask him about some other titles and phrases that don’t necessarily mean what they say on the surface.
1. Home Box Office (HBO)
“Why does the woke left always refer to HBO as a television service when they clearly say “It’s not tv, it’s HBO” in their advertisements?”
2. North Korea
“It’s called The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea. Since names are always accurate and never require any context, we can all rest assured that it is a vibrant, thriving democracy.”
3. Inflammable
“Insane = not sane. Independent = not dependent. Invalid = not valid. Therefore Inflammable = not flammable. Next question you wackos.”
4. “I literally died”
“I guess you downtown elites have a tough time understanding the way real Canadians talk. Something slightly embarrassing and/or dramatic happened, so she died. She even put the word literally in there to make it clear. No I don’t know how she’s telling this story if she’s dead and frankly, it’s pretty Socialist of you to even ask.”
5. “Laugh My Ass Off”
“Her ass fell off from laughter. She had an ass, then she heard a great Joe Rogan joke, so she laughed so hard it fell off. This is the only explanation possible.”
6. “World’s Best Grandpa” coffee mugs
“Clearly a council or panel of some kind got together and evaluated Joe from Huntsville’s grandpa-ing skills and deemed him the best in the world, then presented him with the award in the form of a mug. I guess at some point they revised their rankings though because Mark from Regina was recently awarded a similar prize.”
7. Mission: Impossible
“The missions Ethan Hunt and his team are sent on are impossible. Impossible means can not be done under any circumstances. Therefore they should not even attempt it. They must fail every time. I assume these movies are extremely depressing to watch.”
