TORONTO – Local woman Maddy Humphries, 29, has discovered that her friend Kyla Mason, 28, has been hiding the fact that she is rich for the entirety of their 7 year friendship.
“Kyla and I have been really tight since undergrad when we used to live off Ramen noodles and help each other hide tags on the dresses we bought so we could return them,” said Humphries. “Then last week she mentioned going to Ibiza for the weekend. I was like ‘what?’ and her whole story fell apart.”
“She was hiding it like a dirty secret. Like she’d killed someone. Only worse.”
Though Mason never explicitly came out and said she wasn’t wealthy, Humphries said her behaviour over the years seemed almost designed to convince anyone that she was a struggling person in her 20s like all her friends. She shopped at second hand stores, constantly made fun of ‘bougie’ and/or ‘preppy’ people, and lived on a diet of leftover pizza and food smuggled away from work events.
“I wasn’t lying. I just didn’t talk about my childhood home, what my parents did for work, what high school I went to, the horse I own, my investment properties or the fact that I spend most of my weekends sailing. These topics just never came up,” said Mason.
“I guess it’s possible I just missed some things. But I’m pretty sure that when she talked about her family going to Florida as a kid she described them driving in a car for two days, not hopping on a private plane,” said Humphries.
At press time Mason was hoping that despite their financial situations, their similar personalties, mutual interests, years of inside jokes and overall love for each other would see their friendship continue to thrive. Meanwhile Humphries was making a list of all the money Mason borrowed over the years because she was “short on cash” that she never paid back.
