TORONTO – Local woman Maddy Humphries, 29, has discovered that her friend Kyla Mason, 28, has been hiding the fact that she is rich for the entirety of their 7 year friendship. “Kyla …
Tag: local woman
Spouting off entire resume deemed acceptable response to “how’ve you been?”
TORONTO – As Canadians begin socializing in-person again, The Canadian Board of Acceptable Social Norms (CBASN) has added spouting off a detailed account of your entire resume, including re…
Due to supply chain issues, local woman runs out of fucks to give
WINNIPEG – Due to ongoing supply chain issues across the country, a local woman has completely run out of fucks to give. Alexis Jenkins, 29, has historically given excessive fucks, otherwise know…
Doctor unsure if woman has Munchausen Syndrome or if she’s faking it
ANN ARBOR- A medical mystery is plaguing local family physician Dr. Kyle Bryan as he debates a diagnosis of either Munchausen Syndrome or faking it. “Yeah, it’s a real challenge,” said Dr Bryan a…
Hero cat bravely saves owner from being in bathroom alone
WINNIPEG – Felines nationwide are praising humble hero cat Mr. Pringles after he bravely saved his owner, local university student Christine Pedany, from being in the bathroom alone for mor…
Millennial woman horrified to learn she just wakes up early now
Dartmouth, NS – A millennial woman has been horrified to discover that she just wakes up early now, all on her own. Brittany Austin, 31, made the frightening discovery last weekend, when she atte…
Masked woman can’t stop smiling now that men can’t tell her to smile
Yellowknife, NWT – A local woman who regularly wears face masks cannot stop smiling, due to the fact that men can no longer tell her to smile. Naomi Abrams, 29, hasn’t been told to smile by a man…
Local woman doesn’t want to be that annoying vegan stereotype so she just eats meat
VANCOUVER – Local blogger, Elspeth Sosa, who has been vegan for 9 years, insists she doesn’t want to be that annoying vegan stereotype, so she just eats meat along with dairy products and e…
Local woman apologizes for apologizing
WINNIPEG – Amanda Santos, a Senior Associate Consultant from downtown Winnipeg apologized during a meeting last week, then when she realized she apologized, she apologized again. Santos had…
Local woman dies from blood loss after flossing for first time in 4 years
CALGARY – Mabel Doyle, a 24 year old graphic designer bled out in her apartment last Wednesday after attempting to floss for the first time in four years. “I’m the one who found her”, said …