food Archives - The Beaverton

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Injured ham sandwich rushed to Mayo Clinic

ROCHESTER, MN — Reports are coming in that a ham and cheese sandwich suffered a grievous injury in its internal ingredients, necessitating medical evacuation to the Mayo Clinic. “This is about as…

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Loblaws launches for profit food bank

BRAMPTON – In response to continuing accusations of greed-flation and price gouging, Loblaws has announced the launch of a nationwide chain of for-profit food banks. “We’re sensitive to the…

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BREAKING: Greece legalizes Greek food

ATHENS, GREECE – The government of Greece has proudly announced that they have legalized the country’s long-standing tradition of eating Greek cuisine. “Is it possible people were doing this in G…

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