Hey there, hot stuff! With gyms being closed, it’s important to stay active at home! Turn that shambles-of-a-living-room (aka office/school/room where you regularly cry), into a fab fitness space! Anyone can do it – just follow these five simple workouts that will get your heart a-pumpin’ and that sweat a-flowin’. Heads up: It may look like you’re just laying on a yoga mat eating chips but you’re totes not! Everyone knows the best workouts leave crumbs on your chest! Okay, ready?!
1. Stretching – Get on all fours and start in cat-cow: open up that airway. Engage your esophagus. Swallow. Good. Now, lay on your back and spread out. Let your limbs pull you in each direction. Feel that stretch – oh, what’s that? Are those the ketchup chips you keep hidden under the couch? I bet you thought you finished them. There’s probably still some crumbs left. Really reeeeeeaaaach for them. Good. Now reward yourself by preemptively replenishing all that salt you’re about to lose…
2. Warm up over! Today, it is all about HIIT – high intensity interval training. So hit those chips with some salsa. 30 seconds on, 10 seconds off. Repeat for five minutes. Then, we’ll move to an AMRAP – as many Ruffles as possible.
3. Grab those weights! Time for hammer curls and skullcrushers. Are you sweating yet? You should be! And not just because you unhinged your jaw to stuff a full bag of jalapeno cheetos down your gullet. Pro tip: Dip your sweaty hands in the Cheetos bag and cover your palms in dust. It’ll help you grip the weights better.
4. Burpees! Burp up that salt-and-vinegar lays for five…for four…for three…
5. It’s time for a cool down! Wow – you earned this! Did you know Lotus position is a great way to fold your body into the shape of a bowl? Finish off by moving into downward dog: arms forward, shoulders around the ears, and face in a bowl of miss vickies, like a prized swine eating her daily slop. Breathe in (swallow) breath out.
Post workout, make sure you clean off your yoga mat by folding it into the shape of a giant chip funnel and into your mouth.
Up next, a forty-five minute meditation that may look like you’re just napping but 100% are not.
