Ontario vaccination drive first ever government health campaign to succeed in spite of government - The Beaverton

Ontario vaccination drive first ever government health campaign to succeed in spite of government

TORONTO – As the percentage of Ontarians receiving their second dose increases dramatically, researchers are hailing the event as the first ever government run campaign to succeed despite the government’s best efforts.

“Thanks to group texts, Ontarians ability to stand in pop-up lines for hours and a twitter account that should probably be getting the Order of Canada at this point, Ontarians are getting vaccinated faster than we could have ever predicted,” said Dr. Kurt Dickinson. “And they are doing so despite the provincial government making it about as difficult and complicated as possible.”

“It’s great news that will be absolutely infuriating in a few months when Ford uses the vaccination success as the basis for his re-election campaign!”

Throughout other health campaigns the government usually takes the lead in organizing testing and vaccine distribution, but the PCs have adopted a more laid-back “they’ll figure it out… probably” approach. To everyone in the government’s shock, we have.

“I thought I was gonna have to pull all-nighters overseeing everything from transpo to publicity campaigns, but when people are willing to crawl over broken glass to get these shots it makes my life a lot easier,” said Health Minister as she rocked gently back and forth in a hammock.

PC party insiders say they may extend this successful laissez-faire approach to other government services.

“Do we really need a whole education system when youtube and wikipedia are right there?”