TORONTO – Netflix Canada has announced a bold plan to make American movies and tv shows feel more familiar to Canadian audiences by editing out any scene where characters inexplicably wear their shoes indoors.
“There aren’t many cultural differences between America and English Canada, which is why American programming does so well here,” said Netflix Canada representative Tina Morton. “But if there is one thing all Canadians can agree on, it’s complete confusion over why the entire cast is wearing their disgusting shoes inside the goddamn house! Fortunately that won’t be a problem anymore.”
“Naturally we started with the 90s shoes where the houses are all carpeted. That’s right. Outdoor shoes. On carpet! And they expect us to pay attention to what Uncle Joey just said?”
Netflix won’t reveal much about the technology behind their new filter. Some think the scenes will simply be removed, while others think a complicated AI will be used to identify shoes inside the house and immediately blur them out in real time.
“I love binge watching shows, but every time I see a character lying on their bed reading a book with their shoes STILL ON I want to vomit. So I’m glad Netflix is making their content more appropriate for an international audience that recognizes what an atrocity this is,” said Toronto resident Aarushi Patel.
Long term Netflix plans to expand the filter beyond the shoes indoor issue, with plans to impose bags of milk over milk cartons, dubbing the word ‘hockey’ in every time a character is talking about football and adding a wacky french canadian character who none of the other characters see or interact with, but does a lot of pratfalls and goofs in the corner of the screen.
“It’s either this or try to get Canadians to watch shows actually made in Canada. And we all know that’s not gonna happen,” said Morton.