CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI – Despite being large and made of heavy-looking glass, a report released Monday has concluded that the door to Belle’s Yoga Studio on Belvedere Ave. is way lighter than y…
Month: December 2018
Chinese government inviting Canadian tourists with authentic geopolitical prisoner experience
BEIJING – The Chinese government is wooing more Canadians to take in the comfort of a customary cell block, breathtaking interrogations, and quiet isolation as part of their new Chinese geo…
Brexit supporters divided on the best way to fuck Northern Ireland
LONDON — After months of contentious debates and cabinet shake-ups, Brexit supporters have still not come to a consensus on the best way to really screw Northern Ireland. “I don’t know what…
Canadian Tire Money Truck Robbery Steals Almost $24
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“Grassroots” Ontario Proud group revealed to be 3 corporations in a trenchcoat
TORONTO — Despite claiming to be a user-funded organization in the 2018 election, the political action group Ontario Proud has been revealed to be 3 development firms standing on each other…
Large Hadron Collider shutting down as scientists opt to do most of their atomic colliding online
GENEVA – In a press conference last week, scientists at CERN announced that the Large Hadron Collider will be shutting down permanently due to a steady decrease in use. The facility, which …
Philadelphia Flyers relieved to learn that everyone else can see Gritty too
PHILADELPHIA – During a media scrum earlier this morning, members of the Philadelphia Flyers were brought close to tears upon learning that mascot Gritty was something other people could se…
Judge grants bail to Huawei exec under condition she be tracked like a Canadian using Google
VANCOUVER – A judge has granted Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou bail under the condition that she turns on her phone’s track location setting where she will be carefully followed like an ordinary, …
Preview: ‘The Beaverton Ruins Your Holidays Special’ December 20 On CTV
Get into the holiday spirit, by having it ruined.…
Mobile phone game allows users to purchase ability to win
MONTREAL – Mobile game development house Kyoho Games has announced that their new free downloadable release – Block Exploder – allows players the option to pay a small premium f…