MELVILLE, SK – Former Conservative Party Leadership candidate and Tory MP-hopeful Tub of Margarine is distancing itself from Ezra Levant’s Rebel Media.
The container filled with refined vegetable oil and water is made the announcement this morning in a Facebook post calling the right-wing media outlet a threat to tolerance and peace between edible spreads everywhere.
“My brief appearance on one of the programs with Ezra Levant was a discussion about butter substitutes and canola oil pipelines,” clarified the Tub. “However, I believe Rebel Media has tarnished the conservative image. I have always believed in peaceful co-existence between all spreads from jams and ketchups to butter and margarine.”
The inanimate object said that certain Rebel contributors continue have deep-seated anti-hydrogenate and hummus-phobic views which is very disturbing, and have no place in the tolerant fridges of Canada.
The Tub of Margarine placed 12th in the leadership race with 2% of the vote ahead of an angry ostrich and Deepak Obhrai.
The Tub joins a growing number of Conservative MPs, MLAs, candidates, and right wing commentators who have suddenly realized that the Rebel is not some sort of practical, ongoing joke that has been publishing and broadcasting xenophobic tirades as news since it was founded in 2015.