Brampton, ON — According to sources, local man Dustin Rassmore is in the throes of a summer-long romance with his sole pair of summer bottoms, a pair of turquoise Hurley board shorts.
25-year-old Rassmore purchased the shorts at a Boathouse clothing store approximately 10 years ago and, in his words, “has never looked back.”
“When you make a commitment like that, it’s for life,” said Rassmore who has been wearing the shorts for 90 days, consecutively.
“It hasn’t been all sunny,” admitted Rassmore. “There have been ups and downs. Devastating lamb kebab spills, some close calls with wet paint, once I left them wet for 48 hours in the trunk of a car. But in those tough times, I always reminded myself that it was better than the alternative: entering a retail clothing store.”
Rassmore’s girlfriend Emily Breyer says it was clear when she began dating Rassmore that he and the shorts were a package deal.
“I’ve learned to expand my definition of a romantic relationship. Dustin and these shorts have a history together and I respect that. We make it work.”
“We’re planning a trip to Mexico City this summer and I’m prepared for the shorts to come along. I’m keeping an open mind. I love Dustin and Dustin loves these shorts. So, there must be a way for me and the shorts to get on the same page.”
Rassmore says he looks forward to another 10 years with the shorts, or “until my aunt buys me a pair of new ones.”
