TORONTO — While many Canadians are finding it difficult to make ends meet with prescription drug costs, a pharmaceutical company has unveiled a new solution to their problems: Gougium.
Gougium is the creation of Radium Technology Enterprises and harnesses the power of the mind’s apathy and cynicism so those who can’t afford basic prescription medication don’t have to feel the worry about obliterating your life savings in an effort to stay alive.
A pill, which costs $15 each, must be administered every hour to ensure maximum relief from anxiety-causing creditors and poverty-induced depression.
“Whenever I feel the panic of choosing your life-saving medicine or not making rent, I reach for Gougium,” explained an attractive middle-aged woman advertising the product. “With it, I let my worries and bankruptcy status slip away.”
Side-effects of the drug may include nihilism, hallucinations of a universal prescription drug strategy and dry mouth. However, representatives at Radium Technology Enterprises said they have scientists working around the clock to develop a new drug to treat the side-effects of Gougium.
