TORONTO – After being displaced by the continuing construction work at Toronto’s Union station, the leader of Ontario’s largest rat colony today expressed his disgust at the current level of service being provided by the TTC.
“As rats, we are used to being stuffed into cramped spaces, but that 501 streetcar? Wow. I mean, we’re mammals too, right? It’s just not humane,” said Rat Boss. “We spent years living in a dank hole in the ground, crawling all over each other, but I’ve never experienced such claustrophobia while getting from A to B until now.”
“Does no one at the TTC ever plan for the fact that ridership will increase in the winter?” added the germ infested rodent.
Rat Boss’ press conference was originally scheduled to take place outside Jimmie Simpson park in Toronto’s east end at 1pm, but after continued delays and short-turning streetcars, an impromptu conference was held inside the wall of a Shoppers’ Drug Mart, 90 minutes later than originally planned.
At press time the rat colony had given up and were just going to split a cab.
