QUEEN’S PARK – Following the surprise announcement that he will return all recently released lands back to the Greenbelt, Premier Doug Ford announced that the developers who purchased…
Tag: RCMP
Where is he now? Jean Chretien has escaped, Canadians advised to shelter in place
MONTREAL – The RCMP and Canadian Wildlife Service issued a joint statement late Thursday afternoon advising Canadians across the country to shelter in place after it was discovered that for…
RCMP: Anti-trans protesters aren’t being removed from highway overpass because laws only apply to people we don’t like
NORTH VANCOUVER – Six weeks after the Supreme Court of British Columbia banned a group of anti-trans and anti-vaccine protesters from holding a dangerous, months-long demonstration on a hig…
RCMP wonders how evil they’ll be in another 150 years
OTTAWA – After celebrating their 150th anniversary, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police have started to wonder what level of unspeakable villainy they will be able to achieve after reaching t…
Police: “We could have handled Freedom Convoy without Emergencies Act, we just didn’t wanna”
OTTAWA – As police officers from the RCMP, OPP and Ottawa Police continue to downplay the necessity of the Emergencies Act in finally ending the Freedom Convoy Protest, they have made it cl…
Toronto police ask for budget increase to more equitably beat up residents
TORONTO – Following newly revealed statistics proving that Toronto Police Services uses force against BIPOC residents far more often than it does white ones, Chief James Ramer has asked the…
Police worried crackdowns on convoys will hinder their ability to recruit from the lunatic fringe
OTTAWA – Police departments across Canada are concerned that their mild efforts to arrest the anti-vaccine and anti-government protesters who’ve disrupted Canadian society for the last thre…
RCMP arrest the Lorax
LAKE COWICHAN, B.C. – The RCMP, out in force again today arresting protesters trying to protect old growth trees on Vancouver Island, have detained one of the world’s most recognizable envi…
Police on horse ready to stop train robbery
TORONTO – Toronto Police have reported that their horseback division is essential for stopping any and all train robberies. “When I’m on my noble steed, Paul Gross’ Passchendaele – Pa…
Trudeau: Systemic racism is a huge problem, someone should really do something about that
OTTAWA – Responding to the news from the U.S. that police officer Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all charges for the murder of George Floyd, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau believes this e…