PALLET TOWN – Today government officials outlined their latest proposed budget cuts, which included the controversial decision to end the popular starter Pokemon program. First introduced i…
Tag: pokemon
John Tory vows to combat Toronto’s out-of-control Drowzee infestation
TORONTO – Declaring that the city’s Drowzee scourge can no longer be tolerated, Toronto Mayor John Tory vowed that he would take swift, decisive action against the problem. “We are aware of…
Teenager reported lost for five years reappears playing Pokemon Go
MEDICINE HAT, AB – A teenager who was once reported lost for five years has reappeared staring at his cellphone playing Pokemon Go. Jason Waterfield was just 15 years old when the Medicine …
Local man vows to spend 30 minutes with date before catching a Squirtle
Unionville, ON — A local Pokemon Go player has vowed to spend at least thirty minutes with his Tinder date before logging into Pokemon Go to catch a Squirtle. RJ Henderson, age 29, remained…
Stephane Dion finally tracks down Onix in Parliamentary Library
OTTAWA – After looking for hours, Minister of Global Affairs Stephane Dion has finally captured the Onix in the Parliamentary Library. “Yes!” exclaimed the former Liberal leader as held his…
Child dying from measles just glad he isn’t autistic
TORONTO – Quarantined in his hospital room after contracting a fatal case of measles, little Timothy Bartlet told reporters how glad he was that his parents opted not to vaccinate for fear …