VANCOUVER – In a rare interview, a sea bird floating off the pacific coast of British Columbia has confirmed that, although it is currently struggling to breathe around plastic straw wedged…
Tag: plastic
Kisko unveils new lambskin freezie that won’t cut your mouth when you suck it dry
WOODBRIDGE, ON – Kisko announced a bold new change to its popular Mr. Freeze freezies that will see the plastic sheath replaced with lambskin to protect customers’ mouths when they gr…
Humpback whale unable to stop herself from eating delicious, delicious plastic bags
THE GREAT PACIFIC GARBAGE PATCH – Stuffing her fifth one that day into her mouth, a local humpback whale found herself unable to stop eating those delicious, delicious plastic bags scattere…
Guests furious hotels will no longer be giving out little bottles filled with terrible products no one uses
VANCOUVER – Citing environmental concerns, several major hotel chains are switching from small bottles filled with cheap personal hygiene products to large, built-in dispensers and many gue…
Trudeau claims he was just holding a bag of single-use plastics for a friend
OTTAWA – After being caught on camera with a large quantity of single-use plastics, Justin Trudeau is adamantly denying the stash of fossil fuel derived cutlery belongs to him. “Look, this …
Mysterious leftover IKEA parts placed in bin with the others
ETOBICOKE, ON – Not having a clue of what else to do with them, a local man placed the baffling extra pieces that came with a recently purchased “BILLY” bookcase inside a large bin in the …
A&W Canada to replace plastic straws with organic 100% beef tubes
OTTAWA – In an effort to reduce petroleum waste, A&W Canada will phase out plastic straws by 2019, replacing them with grain-fed beef tubes. “A&W has long been an innovator in dri…
Point/Counterpoint: “There are plenty of fish in the sea” VS. “Actually, there AREN’T plenty of fish in the sea”
POINT: There are plenty of fish in the sea By Crystal Benjamin, best friend Hey, listen, I know it hurts. Right now you feel like you might never love again. But the truth is, there are plenty of…
Tim Hortons launches answer to Unicorn Frappuccino: a cup of neon paint
OAKVILLE, ON – Releasing it hot on the heels of Starbucks’ multi-coloured Unicorn Frappuccino, Tim Hortons has announced its own Instagram-ready drink: a cup filled with neon paint. T…