EDMONTON – Connor McDavid and the Maple Leafs fanbase have agreed to a two-year, $25 million deferral of all overoptimistic conjecture about the Oilers captain one day signing with Toronto. The c…
Tag: Oilers
“I know it’s only the Preseason but…” says hockey fan about to make the dumbest prediction of all time
TORONTO – As the pre-season winds down hockey fans are using the preamble “I know it’s only the preseason but” to unleash their wildest and dumbest takes. “I know it…
Federal government opens distress hotline for Canadians forced to cheer for Oilers
OTTAWA – A new federal mental health initiative has seen the opening of a 24/7 distress hotline that will provide emergency support for Canadians who have been forced to cheer for the Oiler…
Inventive refs develop new way to help Panthers win beyond the favourable whistle
Sunrise, FL – In a landmark win for referee science, the team of Wes McCauley and Francis Charron have come up with a new way to help the Panthers win: physically blocking Oilers players in…
Franchise with amazing fans, likeable superstars determined to become league villains
EDMONTON – The Edmonton Oilers announced the hiring of Stan Bowman, the Blackhawks executive who helped cover up the sexual abuse of Kyle Beach by assistant coach Brad Aldrich, as part of t…
Canadian hockey fans waiting until last five seconds of Game 7 before getting hopes up this time
EDMONTON – Thirty years into a Stanley Cup drought that has seen countless near-misses and heartbreaks, Canadian hockey fans have announced plans to wait until the last possible moment to be conf…
Drunk Edmontonian screaming at television pleasantly surprised to learn Oilers game is on
EDMONTON – Edmontonian Jason Porter, who’s spent another evening shouting outraged profanities at his TV amid a growing pile of Alberta Genuine Draft empties, was excited to discover an Oil…
Oilers fans not sure what’s worse: losing Cup or realizing Leafs fans were right about how good Atlantic Division is
EDMONTON – Down 3-0 to the Florida Panthers, Edmonton Oilers fans report they don’t know what is making them feel worse: the possibility of being swept out of the Stanley Cup Finals, …
Celebratory Edmonton Oilers spray locker room with unrefined bitumen as they advance to Stanley Cup Final
EDMONTON – Following a 2-1 victory over the Dallas Stars, the Edmonton Oilers celebrated their advancement to the 2024 Stanley Cup Final by spraying their entire locker room with hundreds o…
Dallas’ low camera angle allows viewers chance to imagine what may be happening along nearside boards
DALLAS – Viewers watching the Edmonton Oilers defeat the Dallas Stars in double overtime were treated to a special vantage point last night: a low camera angle that makes it impossible to s…
