SAINT-HUBERT, QC – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced Thursday that Canada would be partnering with NASA to put Judy Wilson Raybould in orbit around the moon. “Judy Wilson Raybould is …
Tag: NASA
Mars probe glad to leave doomed Earth behind
PASADENA, CA – After successfully landing on the Martian surface, InSight, the $1 billion NASA probe, relayed the message back to headquarters that it’s glad to be off that “God forsaken” r…
NASA discovers Earth-like planet 20 feet from Earth
WASHINGTON D.C. – Astronomers with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration have announced the ground-breaking discovery of a planet similar to Earth only 20 feet away from our own plane…
Returning astronauts waiting for right moment to bring up the “bad thing”
Florida – A group of returning astronauts have been trying to find the perfect moment to bring up ‘the bad thing’ they saw in space. “Before reaching Entry Interface we al…
Cassini spacecraft responds to self-destruct order with cryptic laugh
PASADENA – Experts at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory are stumped, and more than a little disturbed, by the cryptic laugh they received from the Cassini spacecraft in response to the sel…
NASA finally answers the big question: what gender is the Sun?
TORONTO – After years of speculation, scientists have finally answered the question that has plagued humanity for generations – whether the sun is a boy sun or a girl sun. “We’ve been worki…
All-white, all-male reboot of “Hidden Figures” in the works
LOS ANGELES – Production has begun on an all white, male reboot of the hit 2016 movie Hidden Figures. The movie, titled simply, Figures, will tell the story of three caucasian men who don’t…
Nation’s teachers desperately try to finish lesson plans night before school starts
OTTAWA – Having failed to realize the first day of class was coming up so quickly, Canada’s teachers spent last night desperately trying to finish their lesson plans and assignment schedule…
Scientists discover new, Earth-like planet for humanity to destroy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Researchers at NASA this week announced the discovery of a new, Earth-like planet orbiting the star closest to the sun, which they say possesses physical properties condu…
NASA discovers 9th planet in continued attempt to win back Jessica
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After recent advances in radiotelemetry failed to bring that smile back to her face when she saw them, NASA scientists have discovered a new planet, in hopes that the ‘gr…
