CALGARY – Sources at the Central Library have reported that Bryce Spooner, who said “Hell yeah, let the good times roll, baby!” when he began A Tale of Two Cities, is about to get his fucking tee…
Tag: Library
Neighbour’s little library features little creep at little computer printing off little images of Shakira
SUMMERSIDE, PEI – In an attempt to scale down the modern library experience, a local front-yard little library installed a little computer which was quickly used by a little creep to print …
Big city elite retires to their 300 sq foot basement apartment to eat beans
VANCOUVER – Local woman Kaitlin Escada, who based on her location and political views many describe as a ‘big city elite’, is spending her evening sitting in darkness eating beans after her…
Local Dad reaches that age where he smells like a damp library
WINNIPEG – As he enters his late 50s Henry Adamson, father of three and grandfather of two, has, like so many men before him, started to smell like an old library that recently experienced …
Local woman overcome with guilt after returning library book unread
CALGARY – Reading is known as a means of escape from the harshness of reality, but for one local woman who wishes to remain anonymous, a ticking clock turned her dream of a pleasant diversi…
After unveiling streaming film service Toronto public library now valued at $9.2 billion
TORONTO – Only a month after unveiling their well received streaming film service, the Toronto Public Library has been valued at just under $10,000,000,000.00 “With Netflix, Hulu, Ama…
Sadly, today’s college students won’t let me exercise my free speech just because this is a silent reading room in a library
By Adam Carolla Nobody else is saying it, so I’m going to—today’s college students are spoiled. By allowing them to cower in “safe spaces” and “quiet study zones” and “single occupant washrooms”,…
Toronto Public Library rents space to neo-Nazis after they promise to heil quietly
TORONTO – The Toronto Public Library took a stand yesterday by allowing a planned meeting of prominent neo-Nazis to go forward after the group promised to keep their heiling to a low whispe…