Editorial by: T. Garrett McHue I’m deeply concerned that some of people who call themselves ‘Canadians’ are trying to rewrite Canadian history by tearing down statues of our First Prime Minister …
Tag: John A. Macdonald
Ghost of John A. Macdonald taps broken keg in Canada Day weekend miracle
Georgian Bay, ON – After a poorly thrown football knocked their only keg onto some rocks, guests at the rented Georgian Bay party cottage were shocked by both the sudden appearance of John …
Science minister Kirsty Duncan leaves time machine just in time to stop Kirsty Duncan from killing John A. Macdonald
OTTAWA – Minister of Science Kirsty Duncan has burst out of a time machine on June 24, 1867, just in time to prevent a younger version of herself from murdering Father of Confederation John A. Ma…
Canada to sign Great Ape Research Ban as soon as we finish the Chimpan-Zed
OTTAWA – Facing pressure from animal rights groups, science Minister Kirsty Duncan announced today that Canada will sign an international ban against scientific experimentation on great ape…
New $20 bill to feature plus-size model
OTTAWA — The Bank of Canada has revealed that the new $20 bill will display the image of a plus-size female model, marking the first time that a full-figured woman has appeared on Canadian …
Public Service Orientation for new employees to phase out hazing rituals
OTTAWA — The organization responsible for Canada’s Public Service has announced that it will no longer require new civil servants to be initiated through humiliating forms of abuse and hara…
Paternity test confirms Sir John A actual Father of Confederation, owes billions in child support
OTTAWA – DNA tests has confirmed Canada’s first prime minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, is the Father of Confederation after 148 years of denial and unpaid child support. Queen Victoria said…
Conservatives unveil new ‘just fuck shit up before 2015’ plan
OTTAWA – After a year plagued by scandal and unpopular legislation, representatives of the Harper government have announced that the administration’s new strategy is to just try and pass as…