Georgian Bay, ON – After a poorly thrown football knocked their only keg onto some rocks, guests at the rented Georgian Bay party cottage were shocked by both the sudden appearance of John A. Macdonald’s spectral form and by the phantom’s ability to fix kegs.
“The spear tube had come completely loose so we weren’t getting any suction at all. I was this close to hacking the keg open with a shovel,” said partygoer David McGrath. “But then, suddenly, this mysterious levitating man with a big red nose appeared. He not only managed to somehow tap the keg, he also drank a third of it.”
Upon passing through the veil between our worlds, the dead Macdonald brushed aside questions about the afterlife to focus on the matter at hand and, within moments, he’d determined that the keg tube had become dislodged.
“He gave this really rousing speech about ‘coming together’ to ‘abdicate ourselves from the tyranny of cans and bottles’,” said kindergarten teacher Lindsay Warner. “We all got pretty excited, but then he threw up a bunch of ectoplasm into the vodka watermelon. I guess he had a few on the way over.”
Mystics tell us that the phantom of the first Prime Minister can pass over from the spirit realm for exactly 18 minutes and 67 seconds on the Canada Day weekend. While supposedly this time is spent advising the current PM, in reality Macdonald’s spirit nearly always chooses to get wasted at a beach instead.
“He truly was a great man,” said a teary-eyed McGrath. “Can you believe he saved me the $200 damage deposit?”
At press time, John A. Macdonald had suddenly vanished back to the spirit world while waiting in line to go wakeboarding.
