CONSHOHOCKEN, PA – Ikea today announced their latest product, the Grovahårstrån – pre-packaged little black hairs for single men to decoratively sprinkle all over their lonesome bathr…
Tag: Ikea
Local teen grounds parents for sneaking out of the house
Sherbrooke, QC – Local teenager, Jeremy Powers, has grounded his parents for continuously leaving the house and not heeding Public Health’s warning to self isolate. “I’m at the end of my wi…
Still searching for buyer, Montreal Alouettes now listed as fully furnished
MONTREAL — In an attempt to entice an offer for the Montreal Alouettes, of which the Canadian Football League has recently taken ownership and has been struggling to find a potential buyer,…
Mysterious leftover IKEA parts placed in bin with the others
ETOBICOKE, ON – Not having a clue of what else to do with them, a local man placed the baffling extra pieces that came with a recently purchased “BILLY” bookcase inside a large bin in the …
Thrifty! How to spice up your sex life with that damn IKEA chair everyone owns
Looking to take your sex life to the next level but finding yourself cash strapped? Think the hefty price tag and aerial nature of a sex swing is too extravagant for you? Well then dust off that …
Knitting needles join scrapbook paper on shelf of woman’s failed hobbies
Leduc, AB – After promising herself that knitting was going to be “her thing”, Sharon Allan’s knitting needles are now collecting dust on the shelf storing her scrapbook materials, woodwork…
Ikea Divorce Offerings
Finally, something from Ikea you don’t have to assemble at home!…
Man trapped in IKEA for three weeks emerges knowing only how to församla the fyrkantig
MONTREAL – After being lost inside the Montreal IKEA superstore for over three weeks, a local man is now only able to converse in IKEA themed Swedish. Jerry Larsson, who subsisted mainly on…
Ikea Monkey admits that he is not a real news story
TORONTO – Darwin, the seven-month old Rhesus monkey apprehended at the North York Ikea yesterday evening has come forward to say that he regrets causing a “literal media circus.” Darwin was…