At their annual party convention this past weekend the Conservative base attempted to defuse Liberal arguments that the party is too far to the right for the average Canadian voter by passing a b…
Tag: housing crisis
Country with massive housing shortage not sure what to do with all these empty office buildings
OTTAWA – As employees continue to express their desire to work from home, owners of downtown office buildings aren’t sure what they will do with all this unused space. Also in unrelat…
Pierre Poilievre threatens to dox one Canadian who lives in a small home every day until he’s made PM
OTTAWA – Inspired by the negative backlash after he shared the address of a random small house that he called “a shack”, Conservative Leader and MP Pierre Poilievre has declared that he wil…
Homeowner open to any solution to housing crisis that doesn’t raise property taxes or lower property values
Oakville, ON – Local man Nicholas Burnaby says that, as a homeowner, he would be happy to see any solution implemented that helps people afford to buy and rent necessary housing as long as …
Toronto unreal estate agent sells house for 5 kajillion dollars
TORONTO – On another great day for the local imaginary housing market, non-realtor Wendy Phan has sold a lovely 2 and a half story house for 3 kajillion dollars over the asking price. The p…
John Tory gets haircut after receiving assurance that homeless people will not be given the clippings for warmth
TORONTO – After many months of growing his hair out, Toronto mayor John Tory has finally gotten his hair trimmed after painstaking measures to ensure that the newly shorn locks will not be …
Ford government solves Toronto housing crisis for everyone who is an MPP
TORONTO – In a surprise move sure to boost the party’s popularity among Torontonians, the Ontario Conservative government has completely solved Toronto’s housing crisis for ever…
Doug Ford says asylum-seekers have run his business into the ground and stolen Renata’s inheritance
ETOBICOKE, ON – After claiming asylum-seekers were responsible for Toronto’s housing crisis, Doug Ford has added to the list of accusations, saying they’ve criminally mismanaged his family busine…