Earth, Milky Way – Earth has finally revealed the biggest life hacks it’s using to make 2024 its hottest year ever. Earth has taken millennia to develop the ideal morning routine. While it…
Tag: global warming
10 most controversial policies passed at the Conservative Party convention
At their annual party convention this past weekend the Conservative base attempted to defuse Liberal arguments that the party is too far to the right for the average Canadian voter by passing a b…
How to enjoy “unseasonably warm” days without dreading inevitable doom
Ottawa, ON — As spring unfolds with unprecedented warmth, Canadians might wonder how they can enjoy nice weather, while also understanding it’s a sign that our climate is hurling toward uninhabit…
Alarming new IPCC report released and you’ve already stopped reading this headline
GENEVA – This week (or maybe it was last week, or the week before, it doesn’t really matter) the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released their latest report detailing the ho…
Leaders assure world they have climate change plan to save themselves and that’s all
WASHINGTON, DC – As summer temperatures soar around the globe due to climate change, the world’s leaders announced they do indeed have a comprehensive plan in place to save themselves…
Liberals announce plans to continue announcing plans to, one day, cut emission rates
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau’s Liberals have announced their latest announcement to announce that at some point they will actually announce how they will cut Canada’s emission rates.…
Liberals attack Conservative party for not acknowledging then ignoring climate change
OTTAWA – The Liberals have wasted no time in denouncing Conservative MPs for belonging to a party that refused to acknowledge the reality of climate change at their recent policy convention…
5 TV shows you should watch before we all die
With global warming leaving most of the world on fire, the US trying to start World War III, and vapes giving us all popcorn lung, there is only one thing to take comfort in – it will all b…
Earth immediately breaks New Years resolution to lose 1.5 degrees
LUNGS OF THE EARTH, AMAZON – After publicly promising it was going to be a ‘new year, new me’ for the fifteenth year in a row since Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, Earth has once again imm…
Trudeau confident in climate action plan of “being dead by then”
OTTAWA – Responding to increasing concerns over climate change, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has doubled-down on his strategy of already being deceased by the time the apocalypse fully kicks in.…