BRANDON, MB — Local girlfriend Teresa Waldner failed to remind boyfriend Todd Derksen to be careful yesterday, resulting in his bumbling straight into the mouth of an erupting volcano. “Oh, god,…
Tag: Girlfriend
Christopher Nolan wants audiences to see movies the right way: sitting in a seat some teenager got to third base in
BURBANK, CA – In the wake of Warner Bros.’ announcement that they will release their entire lineup of 2021 films in theatres and on HBOMax simultaneously, several industry players have come out i…
Girlfriend’s cat watching you pee again
Hamilton, ON – Late Friday night, your girlfriend’s cat, Cheddar, watched you relieve yourself again in your girlfriend’s en-suite bathroom, and frankly, you’ve had enough. “It doesn’t look…
“I’m chill about menstruation,” boasts man who has obviously never heard of chunky days
WINDSOR, ON – Yesterday, 35 year-old software developer Daniel Moore was overheard bragging to female friends that he was “totally cool with periods,” a phrase that very clearly revealed the fact…
Escape Room provides authentic experience of having girlfriend solve your problems for you
VAUGHAN, ON – Local woman, Caroline Burton, visited Lockpick Escape Rooms this past Thursday to play a new fantasy themed puzzle, “Deep Dungeons of the Darkspawn Guild” with her boyfriend, …
9 out of 10 boyfriends wearing shirts they just found somewhere they can’t remember
MONTREAL — In a study done by Concordia University, it has officially been proven that 9 out of 10 boyfriends’ shirts come from somewhere that no boyfriend can remember. Following years of …
Local mom files Freedom of Information request regarding son’s new girlfriend
SAULT STE. MARIE, ON – Local mother Helena Nowak has resorted to bureaucratic methods to try to obtain information regarding the love life of her son, Adam, 22, and has filed a Freedom of I…
Tiger Woods still looks tired from all that extramarital sex he was having a few years ago
JUPITER ISLAND, FL – Having not won a PGA tournament since 2013, a wide array of golf experts agreed on Thursday that golfing legend Tiger Woods still looks “very tired” from all that extra…
Your girlfriend doesn’t want commitment, she wants you to be Rihanna
MISSISSAUGA – After numerous consultations with groups of women congregating in club bathrooms, irrefutable evidence proves that most women are dissatisfied with how un-Rihanna their partne…
Mom embarrasses son by whipping out old album full of dick pics
WINDSOR – A proud local mother embarrassed her son yesterday evening, when she showed his new girlfriend an album full of his old dick pics. “I get it, she’s proud of me,” said Timothy Henr…