TORONTO – As the Toronto Blue Jays play the 2023 season’s first home games, fans are enjoying several offseason additions to the Rogers Centre, including a new bullpen bar, a large family play ar…
Tag: Fathers
Dad does dad thing
A CANADIAN SUBURB – Multiple sources are reporting that John Jackson, a local father of three, is going to spend the day performing an activity associated with his status as a dad. “I can’t wait …
Socks and sandals hung from the chimney with care
News in Photos…
Nation’s toddlers demand more uppies
OTTAWA – In a move that many experts fear will cause a rift in already strained negotiations, Canada’s toddlers unilaterally demanded more uppies earlier today. Talks have entered arbitrati…
This year’s most popular Father’s Day gift just box full of gears and wires
CANADA – Businesses across the nation are reporting that this year’s most popular Father’s Day gift is a nondescript cardboard box filled with gears and wires of various sizes that retails …
Trudeau hopes to build relationship with Trump over shared daddy issues
OTTAWA – On his way to Washington for their first meeting, Prime Minister Trudeau is keen on building a strong and stable connection with President Donald Trump by focusing on their deep seeded a…
Quiz: Why didn’t your father say he loved you before he died?
The bond between child and father is one of the most important in a person’s life. In your case the lack of love between the two of you will haunt every future relationship. But instead of …
Nation’s dads issue collective “OPA!” after plate dropped in restaurant
MISSISSAUGA, ON – In response to the accidental dropping and breaking of a plate by a server at a Mississauga Kelsey’s earlier today, the nation’s dads have publicly issued a collective “OP…
Which spending scandal best describes your dad’s distrust of government?
From the Bay Street executive dad of Toronto to the walrus-hunting ataata of Tuktoyaktuk, one common thread unites all of Canada’s fathers: obsession over government spending. There’s no mistake …
Teenager trying to fuck your daughter ‘pleased to meet you, sir’
MEDICINE HAT, ALBERTA – Reports from inside the family room report that Tyler Johnson, the 16 year old just dying to bang your baby girl, is very happy to meet you. “Thank you for having me…