EDMONTON – Connor McDavid and the Maple Leafs fanbase have agreed to a two-year, $25 million deferral of all overoptimistic conjecture about the Oilers captain one day signing with Toronto. The c…
Tag: Edmonton Oilers
Visibly trembling Oilers fan insists he’s not worried about McDavid contract situation
EDMONTON – With training camp about a week away and no sign of Connor McDavid signing an extension anytime soon, Oilers fan and visibly shaking from head to toe human being Malcolm Serrano …
Florida, Calgary win Stanley Cup Final
SUNRISE, FL – The Florida Panthers have defeated the Edmonton Oilers in the Stanley Cup Final, securing both Florida and Calgary their second consecutive Cup victory over Edmonton. “I’m happy my …
Federal government opens distress hotline for Canadians forced to cheer for Oilers
OTTAWA – A new federal mental health initiative has seen the opening of a 24/7 distress hotline that will provide emergency support for Canadians who have been forced to cheer for the Oiler…
Inventive refs develop new way to help Panthers win beyond the favourable whistle
Sunrise, FL – In a landmark win for referee science, the team of Wes McCauley and Francis Charron have come up with a new way to help the Panthers win: physically blocking Oilers players in…
Federal election postponed until all Canadian teams eliminated from playoffs
OTTAWA – After rescheduling tonight’s French language leaders debate to accommodate a Montreal Canadiens playoff game, Elections Canada has announced that the entire federal election …
Fans not falling for Oilers ‘maybe we suck’ bullshit this year
EDMONTON – NHL fans have made it clear that the Oilers starting the season by looking like one of the worst teams in the league will not fool them like it did last year. “I don’…
Franchise with amazing fans, likeable superstars determined to become league villains
EDMONTON – The Edmonton Oilers announced the hiring of Stan Bowman, the Blackhawks executive who helped cover up the sexual abuse of Kyle Beach by assistant coach Brad Aldrich, as part of t…
Oilers fans not sure what’s worse: losing Cup or realizing Leafs fans were right about how good Atlantic Division is
EDMONTON – Down 3-0 to the Florida Panthers, Edmonton Oilers fans report they don’t know what is making them feel worse: the possibility of being swept out of the Stanley Cup Finals, …
Oilers plan to damage Florida Panthers’ morale by forcing them to visit Edmonton
EDMONTON – With the 2024 Stanley Cup Finals fast approaching, sources close to the Edmonton Oilers have confirmed that the team has a new strategy for victory – namely, hoping the Flo…
