TORONTO – Degrassi High’s Class of 2007 graduate Jimmy Brooks shocked former classmates by being able to walk despite a traumatic injury that left him paralyzed from the waist down. Brooks,…
Tag: drake
Drake: “I only love my bed and my mom and abortions”
TORONTO — After a scathing diss track by rapper Pusha T unearthed texts from Drake to a secret lover telling her to abort their child, Drake has amended a popular lyric from his hit song “G…
New Drake album mostly just songs about how he’s never won anything in Roll Up The Rim
TORONTO, ON – While details of rapper Drake’s new album “Scorpion” have been kept secretive to fans and media alike, some news about the album expected to be released in June 2018 surfaced …
Coachella fans really bummed this new Trump hologram is looming over the entire festival
INDIO, CALIFORNIA – As millennials flock to this year’s Coachella festival, music fans were stunned to discover a giant hologram of President Trump. “I mean, they had a hologram with …
Kyle Lowry wakes from surgery to find Drake asleep in hospital room chair
TORONTO – Recovering from surgery to clean out loose bodies from his right wrist, Raptors point guard Kyle Lowry woke up to find hip hop superstar Drake asleep in the hospital room chair, w…
Drake finally gets under the shirt, over the bra with Rihanna
TORONTO — Over the long weekend, the nation was jubilant to receive news that Toronto-born rapper Drake had finally gotten to second base with girlfriend Rihanna. The news about the progres…
You are Drake: Can you record a #1 Single and watch this guy’s stuff for a few minutes?
Drake, successful Toronto hip-hop artist, has forgotten that he has to write a hit song to record… tomorrow… Also, can you hold onto this guy’s stuff?…
Woman’s personal brand revamped to appeal to 18-25 demographic
VANCOUVER—Representatives for Tracy Henderson have confirmed that 29-year old graphic designer’s personal brand will be undergoing an “exciting new evolution” to help it re-center it’s appeal wit…
ISIS takes credit after Saleem accidentally totals Dave’s car
MISSISSAUGA, ON – The Islamic State-affiliated news agency has released a bulletin claiming responsibility, after Saleem accidentally totaled Dave’s car on the way home from sushi last nigh…
Toronto looking to take relationship with Drake to next level
TORONTO – Things appeared to be getting serious between chart-topping musician Aubrey Drake Graham and Toronto this Friday after Mayor John Tory announced that he would be providing Drake with a …